8.47pm 26 July 2006 Wednesday
I just spent the past two hours on mindless gossipmongering. MH was rather astonished when I went back this summer, on how eager I was to critique random strangers' dress or behaviour. Truth be told, I was a little hurt by that comment - until I realised how detached I've become from everyone close to me. It has been so long since I've done something for another person, talked to someone to find out how they are, and basically just forgot that I still have friends and family.
Writing and talking has become such strangers, even, that I don't seem to remember how to convey my thoughts effectively. I know I haven't shown enough appreciation to MH for her support over the past 3 years for her unwavering support through thick and thin, highs and lows, PMS and what not. But I hope she knows that no matter how far out I drift, or how lost I get in my life outside SG, that she is always on my mind.
Somehow these few weeks without H has been like a dream. I told him I don't want to live my life waiting for graduation, or waiting for the next phase of my life, but I am. To the man who has been so wonderful to me the past few months - I love you. I know it has been hard for you too, that whatever worries I have, you're having nightmares about them too. I haven't been very expressive about my love, nor my gratitude that you've chosen to stick with me and swim upstream together no matter how difficult it is and what a brat I've been.
I've made a few resolutions these few days - hopefully I'll be able to keep up with them. Maybe the next time I update, I can give some concrete details about my progress..
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