Thoughts

I hate it when you promise to do something and then forget about it. It makes me wonder, if I'm important to you, shouldn't the promises you make to me be kept?

There are bouts of frustration I feel from time to time from thinking, why didn't he call, or why didn't he do things that he promised. But each time I've been weighing those issues against things he did do, aka, "The Happy Times". Recently, it seems, the frustration is overcoming THT.

Maybe my gut instinct is right - I don't like to be caught in such relationships where two parties are separated by time and distance. Relationships are current and spontaneous. If not, then maybe it's not the time nor place for it. It's not something to be substituted by a phone call or an SMS. It's just not my idea of a relationship. As much as I respect MH and Jason for being able to give each other space, I belong to the all-or-nothing camp. I've always been that way, although sometimes optimism make me forget what my past experience have taught me.

So we're trying your way for now, but how long can it last, before I decide to go my way? One thing is for sure - I cannot stay still in the state of limbo, because that's just not my nature. Some people can thrive just with the knowledge that there's something waiting at the finishing line. I don't. Because there is no definite finishing line in life, since the future is more dynamic that you'd expect. What if I decide to take a detour? Or if it started raining?

No conclusion has been drawn yet, because we're still in the period of data collection. But unfortunately, things have been progressing as expected - badly. Maybe the end is in sight..?